Single VS Double

 

Assalamualaikum & Hello All

This post might instigate endless debacle among us, some might agree and maybe more would disagree but I am just writing to justify my side of the story.

So I am single and doing my PhD. It’s a little displeasing when I hear people say “Ah, it is much easier for you since you are single”. I just smiled and normally reserve my comments. After a while my brain starts analyzing because the ‘little displeasing’ has become more than little. If it is true that it is easier for us Singles, I am one happy GIRL. 

For me, PhD takes a lot of hard work, determination and it really pushes you to the edge (whether you are single or married or a single parent). We all face different set of challenges throughout the journey. In my defense, I would say that it is the same for everyone for several reasons:

1)      For singles like me, there’s no constant 24-7 support compared to married students (they have their spouse by their side to support them). No doubt my parents, friends are my biggest supporters but they are NOT here with me

2)      I have to do everything (cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, change the light bulb, pay the bills etc.) by myself. I don’t have the luxury of asking my spouse to do it for me (or even help me with it).

3)      When I am down, I rely on my support group friends for comforting words, suggesting possible solutions and help me get back on track. It is great but I have to bear in mind that they have problems too and it is unfair to take everything from them. Most of all, they are struggling with their PhD too.

These are not my excuses but this is my opinion. I just feel that such comment does not make sense at all. I have met someone single and finished her PhD is 5 years and a married lady who was doing her PhD part-time but managed to finish in 3 years. Even better, there’s another married lady with 3 young kids, did PhD part-time and finish is 2.5 years. 

 

Don’t get me wrong, I respect each and every one of us because we are brave and we want to better ourselves by embarking in this journey. My point is, we all have our advantages and disadvantages; most of all it depends on us on what to make of our journey. I can be single but lazy and unable to finish in 3 years and on the other hand there might be a married student who has to juggle family and study and able to finish on time. 

To conclude, no matter what our status, we are bound to encounter challenges along the way and the challenges come in various shapes and sizes. What’s more important is to persevere, manage time well, work really hard and enjoy the fruit of your labor after 3 years.

P.S. Relationship status is not a barrier that should hinder us from being fabulous & amazing :)  

 

 Thank You for reading

Miss F